Traveling is one of the most beautiful gifts of life. Even thinking about getting on a plane and jetting off excites me. The only problem is when you have to get on that return flight and face reality again. That’s when the attempts to “accidentally” lose your passport start. When you realize what a hassle that would be, you start procrastinating when you should be packing, hoping that you do it so well that you miss your flight back.
For some people this lasts a few days, on average I would say it lasts a week. If the trip was really good, you’re looking at about two weeks of PHB. I guess it all depends on how much fun you had while you were away.
Not sure if you’ve ever experienced PHB? Here are some of the symptoms I get:
Definition: A dislike of humankind.
You develop hatred towards everyone. You get an urge to scream “you did this, you made me come back!” at innocent bystanders on the streets. Everyone becomes a victim to your deep and heartfelt anger and dislike. The only people who are safe from your intense loathing are those who were on holiday with you. For the duration of your PHB you all gather together and mutter obscenities at everyone who passes by as you furiously sip on a cup of unsatisfying coffee.
Definition: Living or spending a period of time in a dull, inactive, unchallenging way.
Suddenly life has no meaning. Going to work is a waste of time and trying to accomplish anything won’t get you anywhere. The only purpose of life at this point is to be on vacation. You stare at your computer screen at work, which of course has a desktop background of the beach you were laying on a few days earlier, and you do absolutely nothing. You watch your task list grow and still you refuse to lift a finger. Your mind has gone numb and nothing can fix it – NOTHING! You left any hint of motivation you have ever had on that beautiful beach, and it seems like the only way to get that back is to, well, physically go back there.
Random Bursts of Uncontrollable Sobbing
Definition: None Required.
You sit at your desk, vegetating, when suddenly the tears start to roll down your cheeks. Nope, you’re not bipolar, that’s the PHB kicking in. I cried for two weeks straight after a trip I took in October, for absolutely no reason other than the fact that I was no longer on holiday. Taking a vacation can fill you with so much happiness, and taking away that vacation has repercussions of equal size. Anything and everything triggers memories of that time, not too long ago, where the only decision you had to make was whether to order fresh coconut water or a Mojito under the golden sun. Let the waterworks begin.
If you have experienced any of the abovementioned symptoms after a holiday, you have experienced PHB. Unfortunately, this post will not be followed by tips on how to beat PHB. The truth is I haven’t figured it out yet. So until then, all of you going through PHB can give me a call and we’ll hit up the closest Starbucks and blame the baristas for taking away our freedom together.